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[Tuesday
9:24pm June 10th] |
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Boo :(
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| ...uh, update. for once. |
[Wednesday
11:20pm September 27th] |
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mood |
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 crappy |
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| [ |
music |
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Social Burn- Touch the Sky |
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So.. I was browsing through myspace. And I found, like.. a cult of anorexics. And they think its alright. And they say.. "anorexia is not a disease. its a lifestyle." They say Mary Kate Olsean is their hero. They have tons of pictures of girls with hip bones sticking out so far, they could cut your skin open. And they even have nickanmes for anorexia.. "ana" and bulemia.. "mia" It was gross. Really gross. But... I couldnt look away. Seriously. For like, an hour.. I'm looking at these tiny girls who weigh 93 lbs.. their goal weight of 80.. and their user name's are "fatass" or.. "hunger feels bad but skinny feels GOOD!" And I think "Wow.. I weigh.. twice that. They think their fat? Look at Mrs. 160 over here.
.....Man, I'm kinda gross."
Weight has always been a serious issue for me.. Don't believe me? Read just about every fucking entry last year and before... I am VERY suprised that I've never headed down the anorexic path. Actually, I ended down the other way. I emotionally ate.. I boredom ate.. I still do sometimes. Its not healthy.
But honestly, everyone has an addiction.. to weight, to stealing, to drugs, to drinking, to good grades.. Yet, we throw the drug addicts in rehab. We stick the anorexics in rehab. What do we do to the fat people? Tell them to go on adkins.
Man atleast the anorexics can go to rehab, a place where they try to force the "disease" out of you. What do I have? A gym. A diet. Support from friends, but force to get better? No.
Life is so unfair.
...Anyway. I was just updating. Well, rambling actually. Dont worry about me. Im fine. Im not gonna be anorexic. Im not gonna go all suicidal because I'm fat.
....I just have some seirous self confidence issues I need to work on.
Man this entry is slowely but surely making no sense.
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| Confessions of a Passivist |
[Friday
10:00pm August 11th] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
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93.5 |
] |
Why am I so passive? No really... Why? I let people walk all over me.. I'm so stuck on wanting everyone else to be happy that I get lost in it and hurt myself in the process. Oh you forgot to call me? No thats cool. It was my fault babe, really. Go back, have fun. Ill sit here and sew.
..Ugh
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[Monday
12:32pm August 7th] |
| [ |
mood |
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 amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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He is the Legend- I am Hollywood |
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Ozzfest was amazing. I love Black Label Society, Atreyu, Hatebreed, Lacuna Coil, A7X, DISTURBBBBBED, SOAD, and of course... Ozzy
Keith's and I's attempt at internet sex.
mxskater51: dont u have work at like 1?
scrumchelesent: yep
scrumchelesent: ...sooo I dont have to leave for 15 minutes
mxskater51: we can have internet sex lol
scrumchelesent: lol hell yes.
mxskater51: ....sooo what r u wearing?....or what r u not wearing? lol
scrumchelesent: Im wearing my pajammmass
scrumchelesent: isnt that tempting?
scrumchelesent: lol
mxskater51: lol
scrumchelesent: I bet your still in your boxers.
mxskater51: nope
scrumchelesent: omg you have clothes on?
mxskater51: im clothed now
scrumchelesent: props.
mxskater51: i had to take out the trash
scrumchelesent: Id of done it in my boxers
scrumchelesent: and said "FUCK YOU" to the system
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[Saturday
1:52pm August 5th] |
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Im going to Ozzfest tommorow. Me and Clay are atleast. Yet I need a ride. So.. Im working on that.
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| Pretty Girl |
[Saturday
1:51pm August 5th] |
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"Pretty Girl"
By: Sugarcult
pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.
she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
the killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
and that's what you get for falling again;
you can never get him out of your head.
it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love. [2x]
pretty girl... pretty girl...
pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything.
pretty soon she'll figure out: you can never get him out of your head.
it's the way that he makes you cry.
it's the way that he's in your mind.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love.
it's the way that he makes you feel.
it's the way that he kisses you.
it's the way that he makes you fall in love...
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[Thursday
9:58pm August 3rd] |
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Just shoot me next time, it would hurt less. Okay?
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| Going To OC |
[Friday
2:29pm July 14th] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Eiffel 65 |
] |
I'll be gone all next week because I'll be going to Ocean City with my father & the rest of the extended family. Call me and come up to visit! PLEASE. I'll need some amusement.
♥
542-1279
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[Monday
1:51am July 10th] |
So Im sitting here "writing my essay" listening to the Star Wars theme song. I find it helps me think
:)
♥
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| just so everyone knows |
[Monday
7:18pm July 3rd] |
| [ |
mood |
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amused |
] |
| [ |
music |
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None |
] |
I dont have a cellular device anymore. My asshole of a father took it away... So if anyone wants to get a hold of me.. Um. Call my houses..
...I'm now accepting new cell phone donations if anyone wants to give me their old phone so I can transfer my number over.
I need a cell phone. Its my lifeline.
Haha.
Love you folks,
sarAH
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[Sunday
10:06pm July 2nd] |
So let me tell you
Ive become quite the badass lately
And Im no good at it
And I think God hates me now
mmmkay
kthxbye
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| My Poem=Sucks. |
[Wednesday
9:46pm June 21st] |
| [ |
mood |
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cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
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None |
] |
So I Wont Try
You wouldn't get it
You wouldn't understand
If I tried to tell you
What goes through my head
You wouldn't like it
You wouldn't agree
If I told you
How much it hurts to be me
You wouldn't know
You wouldn't grasp
The amount of pain
That I feel inside
So I won't explain
I won't try
I won't open up
I'll just cry inside.
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[Friday
12:34pm June 16th] |
mxskater51 (12:33:21 PM): bye
ScRuMcHeLeSeNt (12:33:39 PM): byyyye
ScRuMcHeLeSeNt (12:33:40 PM): love you
mxskater51 (12:33:46 PM): love ya too
....is it sad that that makes me smile so hard my sun posioning hurts?
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| So |
[Friday
12:31pm June 16th] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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angry FUCK YOU music |
] |
Keith and I had our first fight today. It took a total of 15 minutes. And then we quickly changed the subject and all is good again.
...:) hahah.
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| <3 |
[Thursday
9:20pm June 1st] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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30 Seconds to Mars |
] |
Today is Keith and I's 2nd month anniversary. Things are going really well. I'm going to skip guidance aide tomarrow to go & see him. Geez he rocks my world.
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